Simply, Burgundy Fox was started because I couldn’t find a good solution for lingerie. However, it goes much deeper than that. I launched Burgundy Fox at a time in my life where I was discovering true self-confidence. I had began to let go of things that were holding back my self-esteem like toxic relationships and societal beauty standards. I hadn’t always been this way. I reflect back on my teens and twenties and remember all the things I did out of obligation and lack of self-confidence. I was approaching my thirties and finally finding myself.
I was in a long distance relationship and wanted to find something cute and comfortable to wear when I’d see my now husband. I never loved shopping in malls but something about lingerie stores was especially uncomfortable to me. Being asked personal questions in a space you don’t know much about already, felt scary! Sort of like the very first time you go to a nice restaurant and look at their wine menu. You don’t know Merlot from Bordeaux and aren’t sure if you’ll really regret the $50 bottled compared to the $500 one that you’d definitely rather spend on shoes or rent (but it’s a special occasion!) Throw in some deeply seeded body insecurities and it’s enough to make you sweat, turn around and run.
So, I went to a boutique near my apartment one day after work. Being inexperienced and yet experimental, the associate brought me a stash of items, none of which felt cute or comfortable to me. I hated that the experience felt proscribed, from marketing to merchandise. Lingerie always meant ‘sexy’ and ‘sexy’ had a very specific look. Growing up and into my twenties, I struggled with my body image and self-esteem because plainly, I didn’t have that look (oh, but I tried).
It can still be a struggle some days, but I have learned to embrace myself and stop measuring my worth based on how closely I could meet someone else’s ideals. If these ‘perfect’ ideals were shattered and built up again to include all people, the road to self-confidence and empowerment, might be a lot shorter.
If we saw and internalized inherent value towards all bodies, I believe we’d realize the permission to love ourselves. I reimagined the lingerie shopping experience from beginning to end, into one that’d inspire that permission for women in body and mind. Burgundy Fox was born.