Don't you remember the thrill of being a kid, strutting around your neighborhood dressed in what was probably your alter ego of the time? Doing your very best to amass a more extensive candy collection from the year before. Each time you approached a new house, your stomach would turn into butterflies of anticipation. Would it be a frightful trick, where something (or someone) unexpectedly pops up from the group or out of a bush? Or will your knock be received with your favorite sweet?
Though our coming of age, most of us began to reject our inner child- the spontaneous, silly, and carefree side of us, in fear of being labelled immature by our peers. Making us susceptible to the mundane predictability of adulthood, you wake up, get dressed, rush to work, shove food down your throat at some point, eventually fall asleep and repeat it all the following day. Unfortunately, monotony is the antidote to those childlike butterflies that tend to fill your stomach in nerve-wracking but exciting situations. It's relatively common for relationships, especially those that are long-term, to fall prey to continuity in conversations, social activities and even sex. Sometimes you need to detach from the day-to-day and embrace spontaneity. As Halloween approaches, it can be the perfect excuse to let loose and your freaky side fly.
Perhaps it is slightly inappropriate, at our age, to wander around aimlessly in a costume, begging our neighbors for treats and candy. However, when you bring trick-or-treating inside the comfort of your own home, it can add some spice to your relationship. Now, before you begin to ponder: WHAT THE F*CK, let me explain. Oh, and just a warning, this game involves lots of research, full consent and some arts-and-crafts.
Step One: Create-a-List
Compile a list of fantasies, positions, sexual acts you want to perform with your partner. Write anything down that makes your stomach flutter and your vag tingle. If for any reason you're having trouble generating ideas, remember the World Wide Web is your friend. However, here are a few different ideas to get the ball rolling.
Goosebump Temperature Play
Temperature play involves using hot and cold objects to stimulate different sensations to the skin.
- ice cubes
- cold food
- chilled/warmed sex toys
- warm oils
- wax play
Though it's often recognized as a kink within the BDSM community, anyone can do it. What is super interesting about temperature play is you can use it solo or with a partner. Oh, don't forget to put down an old towel or sheet just in case things get a little messy.
What gets the butterflies going more than anticipation and not knowing what will happen next? If you don't already have a blindfold, you can simply use a tie or something else made of soft silky fabric to cover the eyes.
Either you or your partner will lay down, unable to see while the other has their way. Not being able to see will intensify your other senses that much more. Plus, it's known to create deeper trust and intimacy with your partner. Ideal for someone whose love language is touch.
Paint your Corpse
Whoever said arts and crafts can't be sexy has probably never tried edible paint. Now before you go off and dismiss this as juvenile and messy (because you're probably going to have to pull out the old sheet for this), hear me out. You can use the paint to literally paint your partner a picture of your favourite spots to be touched, licked and kissed.
Whorrified Charades
Let's be honest here. The last thing some of us need is to add another mess into our lives. And bringing arts and crafts inside the bedroom would be our equivalent to hell. That, however, doesn't mean the creativity has to burn there too. Why not play a game of whorrified charades, aka strip charades, the Halloween edition. You can even go as far as ditching the costume entirely and treating yourself to a new lingerie set, like the Red Floral 3-Piece Set on Burgandy Fox. I mean, the more layers, the better, am I right?
Disguised in Role Play
Somewhere, tucked deep within the crevices of our soul. Lays our alter ego waiting ever so desperately for the chance to express itself freely. Role-playing allows that suppressed part of you to come out and live its secret agent, dominatrix or hitchhiking fantasy.
Bobbing for Apples
Oral, but blindfolded with restraints. Now, not to be a buzzkill or anything, however,
I must remind you how important it is to research restraints before introducing them to your bedroom. At first, it may seem sexy when your partner whips out their belt into a handcuff. With the wrong tension, it can cause severe nerve damage.
Toyed With
Seeing it's 2021, we're okay with bringing sex toys into the bedroom now, right? There is nothing wrong with wanting your partner to satisfy you in any way possible. Like, bringing in the Sona 2 with a splash of Almost Nake Lube? When it comes to your partner and toys, I say the more, the merrier.
Step Two: Consent
Before you get all hot and bothered, this is where the research begins. I would like to remind you of the importance that all parties involved in your trick-or-treating play need to have access to the list. Whether it's a piece of paper or a Google Doc, allow everyone to research and understand the act in its entirety to provide full consent. There is no shame to place a hard-no on something you are not comfortable with. It is also possible that you might fall somewhere in between a full yes and a hard no, something you would be open to exploring slowly. Regardless of where you fall, it's important to communicate those desires and limits with your partner.
Step Three: Drink Your Potion
Head to the attic (or Etsy) and grab your trust cauldron (obviously, I'm thrilled to use witchy terminology here, but a hat, bowl or frying pan will work just the same. Now that you've obtained full consent and brewed the sexual tension, your potion of sexual spontaneity and butterflies is almost complete. Write all the acts down on separate pieces of paper, and take turns picking them out.
& with that, I hope you guys enjoy your Halloween and getting freaky in the bedroom.